


but if i close my eyes and dream

by cumulonimbi



Series: shorts [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Unhappy Ending, broken relationship for now, doctor ksoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cumulonimbi/pseuds/cumulonimbi
Summary: Baekhyun loves a man who loves medicine.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Series: shorts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705198
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	but if i close my eyes and dream

The last time Baekhyun storms out of Kyungsoo's apartment, he's so sick that he can't muster up the energy to cry. Four years have dissolved into barely ten minutes of fighting, and now he's holding a slightly ripped hoodie in his hands that had been in Kyungsoo's closet ever since Baekhyun had first bought it. Boyfriend tax, Kyungsoo had joked, back when they still talked. 

Before today's fight, Baekhyun hadn't heard from Kyungsoo in a week. All the texts he sent went unanswered, cell phone straight to voicemail, knocks at the door ignored. Baekhyun had been three seconds from calling the police when Kyungsoo had finally hit him with a sorry, been busy.

If this had been a first time thing, Baekhyun would've reacted better. Usually when Kyungsoo disappeared to study, it'd be three days at most before he'd pick up a call or on really good days, pop over to Baekhyun's apartment with an apology meal in tow. He's never been gone longer.

But this time, Baekhyun's mad because he'd gotten sick right when his boyfriend did his whole ghost routine. Feverish and unable to go to work, Baekhyun spent four days miserable at home eating saltines and aspirins, hoping that Kyungsoo would pick up the phone for once. On the fifth, he dragged himself to the doctor's and wondered why Kyungsoo wanted to have that damn white coat so much.

A month after he tries to lose the feeling of being forgotten, Baekhyun sees Kyungsoo's face on a med student forum that he hadn't bothered to unpin from his computer bookmarks. His ex smiles like a sunbeam, but Baekhyun can see the dark undereye circles that he knows too well. Apparently, Kyungsoo'd gotten a near-perfect score on the KMLE, matching into one of the most prestigious specialist programs this side of Korea.

As luck would have it, Baekhyun works a mere three minutes walk from that hospital. He teaches fifth graders. It's a thankless job and he sure won't get his face splashed across any kind of magazine, but he likes the kids nonetheless. Now it's too close for comfort: Baekhyun prays to every god that he knows the name of that he won't have to run into Kyungsoo and remember lying on the couch alone, coughing his lungs out, waiting for someone who was training to save every life except his.

Every now and then, his mother calls him and tries to set him up. Why don't you marry a lawyer or a doctor, she jokes on odd days, because you're a schoolteacher and you could really use the money. Baekhyun has to let out a breathy laugh that isn't real, because if they gave out punny t-shirts for painful life experiences: Haha, a doctor chose medicine over me!

Unfortunately, God and all his derivations go out to play golf every now and then. Against all his prayers, Baekhyun runs into Kyungsoo on the subway home, and watches as the other male visibly tries to figure out to what degree they're capable of greeting each other, if at all. Nothing like a hug, but is a handshake too formal? A bow would be weird, maybe just a head-dip? Kyungsoo's eyebrows are drawing dangerously close together as he thinks. 

"I can hear the gears whirring in your head," Baekhyun says first, helping Kyungsoo out.

"I—uh." Flustered, Kyungsoo rears back. His scrubs are impossible to miss, and DO, M.D. is just as obviously pinned on his chest. It hurts like a blow to the chest, except it really doesn't because Baekhyun is over it. "Thinking is good."

"Yeah? I guess you know a thing or two about thinking. Congrats, by the way," Baekhyun responds lightly, eyeing the scrubs and then dragging his eyes back up to Kyungsoo's mixed expression. "Saw you in the papers."

"Oh?" Kyungsoo looks pleasantly surprised, if still a little awkward. He works his jaw for a second and then sighs. "Listen, Baekhyun— I just."

"Hm?" The subway is moving in a steady kachunk-kachunk metallic heartbeat. If Baekhyun puts his ear against the wall of the car, he won't be able to hear what Kyungsoo says next.

"I miss you," Kyungsoo seems to say; or maybe, that's just what Baekhyun wants him to say. Baekhyun is too busy scrutinizing his shoes to really know. Their subway car thuds along in the silence between, until it screeches to a halt, pulling into the nearest station.

"This is my stop," he says instead. It is decidedly not his stop, and Kyungsoo knows, but let him wonder if Baekhyun's moved away since they last talked. He gently pats Kyungsoo's arm, the one already letting go of the metal handle to fruitlessly reach out for nothing. Some long dead part of Baekhyun secretly hopes it's reaching out for him, but he manages to slink out the door just as they shut. 

He waits for two trains to pass in between him and Kyungsoo, spending an extra half hour in the subway tunnels, counting pigeons and trying to focus on ripping off the white of his left thumbnail. 

When he finally gets back on, the cars are nearly empty. He takes a spot usually reserved for the handicapped and the elderly. As the train pulls out of the station, Baekhyun finds his reflection in the darkness beyond the subway window and watches it all the way back to his empty apartment.


End file.
